I remember watching the late night feud of 2010 and not really understanding what was going on. Fast forward a couple of years later, I am watching a ton of Conan O'Brien lectures trying to find what to do with my life. Being dismissed from The Tonight Show was one of the greatest periods of creativity for Coco.
Recently, I was dismissed from my job of 3.5 years. Don't get me wrong. It was a work/study position. But, my emotions, psyche and everything was played. I didn't understand - at the time so casually being told that I was being let go. I couldn't process it. New employees. Couldn't process it. Being told I would get more hours - contract possibly being extended - then being told that I should look again (for a new job). Being left in the dark. It was a personal battle. I was left baring a brave face - but really unsure of the future held. My hope in humanity failed. Don't get me wrong we are capable of nuking each other out. Workplace tension does not compare to actual war. But people, I've worked with...formed a camaraderie with...only to be left in the dust. It hurt. A lot. Being the topic of water cooler conversation. Not understanding...swallowing my pride to work. Tears still flowing a year later.
And maybe God is in control. Maybe if I never left my job I would never had the gull to pursue creative endeavours. To pursue comedy. Travel. Love.
The banality of being a cashier. Zapping away orders. Being reduced to "User 15" was very sad for me. I thrive off human interaction. Now the overbearing monotony is...something else. I keep my journal close to scribble my thoughts, my fears, my joys. I wonder if the next 20 years will be this. If I was wrong for not majoring in Nursing. I try to avoid seeing familiar faces...I just pretend I am in an alternate universe.
I look to Coco that maybe like him, things will work out but for now :
Clean, mint, unused you have 14 days to return if the shrink wrap is not broken